Government Disorder

Shock news from the manufacturing sector!
by Steve Cook

Psychiatry Inc, the well-known manufacturers of ADHD, Depression, Addiction and similar aids to the pharmaceutical industry and other ailing multinational corporations, have today announced there has been a serious omission from their diagnostic manual the DSM (Disingenuous Sadistic Muppets). The only nuance of human behaviour to have been left out of the twelve million page so-called “Book of Fibbs” (except warmongering or torture which have been scientifically proven to be a Good Thing and not mad at all) is what is known as Government Disorder.

Here then is an addendum to the DSM which should be printed off and inserted into the manual right away before you put it to its best possible use for (a) establishing all your friends and family are unhinged and must immediately be drugged or as (preferably) (b) toilet paper.

Government Disorder. A malfunction of the common-sense centres of the brain, characterised by various symptoms.
  • Disorder
  • Fantasies – a conviction that hindering people is helping them or that making things worse is improving them
  • Narcissism: a belief one knows best about such things as (a) economics, (b) education (c) everything else, despite all evidence to the contrary and/or knowing nothing
  • Impaired Perception: inability to see the blindingly obvious (see Narcissism and Fantasies above). Tendency to bump into things such as the Middle East, China, Reality etc
  • Hallucinations (seeing things that don’t exist such as: Al Qaeda, Democracy, National Security)
  • Opposition-Defiance syndrome: especially directed at perceived enemies such as voters, sensible people etc.
  • Hoarding (compulsively collecting things whilst trying not to let anyone else have them, such as nuclear warheads, chemical weapons, missiles, money etc)
  • Fibbs Syndrome (compulsive lying)
  • Aggression and violent rampages – sufferer often displays uncontrollable urges to kill lots of people using any implement left lying around such as aircraft carriers, GMOs, psychiatrists, vaccines etc.
  • Suicidal Ideation – characterised by an urge to annoy lots of people until they lose patience and string the sufferer up from lamp posts
  • Loss of motor control characterised by a rapid decline of motor centres such as Detroit, Dagenham, the Western Hemisphere.
  • Compulsive Secretiveness – characterised by a tendency to hide ordinary things from people, such as justice, sensible explanations, human rights etc.
  • Plebophobia – aversion to or fear of ordinary people and other threatening minorities.
  • Problems with Concentration – inability to complete anything (except minor tasks such as blowing people up, wiping out all life on the planet etc)
  • Imaginary Friends – sufferer often compelled to do strange and nonsensical things after listening to the voices of imaginary friends such as vested interests, psychiatrists, economists etc
  • Word-blindness - sufferer often uses words in the wrong or opposite sense, usually to confuse others. Examples include: Collateral Damage (mass murder); Democracy (fascism); terrorist (freedom fighter); Freedom Fighter (terrorist); Manifesto (fairy tales); Promises (lies); Statistics (made up numbers); Facts (fiction); Proof (allegation); Evidence (opinion); Money (debt); Security (insecurity); Truth (see above)
  • Etc

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